Bad eggs! Very bad eggs!

Chickens appear to have begun a massive uprising by infecting our nation's eggs with salmonella.

According to authorities, the rebel chickens are using two farms in Iowa that are the source for gazillions of infected eggs sent to stores in at least 59 states. The hens have funneled the tainted eggs through 87,000 front businesses that pretend to be from local farms.

Anyone finding eggs in their house should immediately call authorities and stomp the eggs on their kitchen floors before eating.

According to the rebel chicken leader, the felonious fowl demands include: The right to be shaken, but not baked, and the ability to cross the road without being interrogated.

Nestle Toll House Cookie Recall: C is for e. Coli

There are two disturbing elements to the recall of Nestle Toll House Refrigerated Cookie Dough.

* Usually the danger of raw cookie dough is salmonella from contaminated raw eggs. The contaminant here was E. coli 0157. According to Wikipedia,

E. coli O157:H7 infection often causes severe, acute bloody diarrhoea (although non-bloody diarrhoea is also possible) and abdominal cramps. Usually little or no fever is present, and the illness resolves in 5 to 10 days. It can also be asymptomatic.

In some people, particularly children under 5 years of age and the elderly, the infection can cause haemolytic uremic syndrome, in which the red blood cells are destroyed and the kidneys fail. About 2%–7% of infections lead to this complication. In the United States, haemolytic uremic syndrome is the principal cause of acute kidney failure in children, and most cases of haemolytic uremic syndrome are caused by E. coli O157:H7.



Basically, some cow poop got on the raw cookie dough. Is Nestle making a regular habit of mixing in cow poop with the chocolate chips? Do we really want to know the answer to that?

* Pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough?!! Mix flour and baking soda and set aside. Beat eggs, butter, brown and white sugar, vanilla, and salt. Add the flower and baking soda. Mix with spoon. Add chocolate chips. Spoon out onto ungreased cookie sheet, eating approximately 1/3 of the batter in the process. Bake. 10 minutes of prep. Fifteen if you include washing up. It is fun. It is easy. It builds character. No cow poop. If you can't handle this, then just buy a bag of Chips Ahoy.

Alfalfa Sprouts Will Kill You

I always remember when I first left the East Coast for California for college so many years ago (How long ago? Let's just say that I brought an electric typewriter with me). I was a stranger in a strange land but I was pleased to see that the sandwich shop I had walked into offered Pastrami. In my religion, you eat Pastrami on rye (or marble rye if you're feeling a little crazy), put a little mustard on it, and have it either hot or cold, and have a nice kosher pickle on the side. This is what I was expecting. Imagine my shock, then, as I was served a Pastrami sandwich with more sprouts on it than meat. As Colonel Kurtz liked to say "The horror. The horror. It really gets to me sometimes!"

So I really wasn't surprised to read that the FDA has issued a warning against eating raw alfalfa sprouts because of a salmonella outbreak.

Raw sprouts have been linked to several outbreaks of salmonella over the past two decades, FDA says. There have been 31 cases in six states since mid-March, and another 100 or so since February.

Anyway, I'm back on the East Coast now. Not a sprout in sight.

Pistachios = Death

Seems like pistachios are the source of a new salmonella outbreak. From the wires:

The company at the center of a nationwide pistachio recall says the salmonella contamination could have come from raw nuts during processing but not a human or animal source in its plant.

Lee Cohen, the production manager for Setton International Foods Inc., said Tuesday the company suspects roasted pistachios sold to Kraft Foods may have become mixed at Setton's plant with raw nuts that could have contained traces of the bacteria.

The pistachios were processed at central California-based Setton Pistachio of Terra Bella Inc., which is in the corporate family of Setton International Foods Inc.

Meanwhile, Kraft expanded its recall to include any Planters and Back to Nature products that contain pistachios.

Health officials have warned people not to eat any products containing pistachios while they investigate.

Even when they get this thing under control, several issues remain for the FDA to address:

• It's kind of creepy eating green nuts


• I can't eat them when my fingernails are either too long or too short


• They're a lot of trouble for not much food


• I find using a nutcracker on a walnut to be a much more satisfying experience than prying open a pistachio with my fingernails

Killer Peanuts

I take a month away from the blog and peanuts threaten to rise up and kill all our children.

Since the peanut uprising began, at least 575 people in 43 states have been sickened by salmonella-tainted PB. At least 8 have died.

The Times reports today that peanut agents have apparently infiltrated the government and had the Agricultural Department send out tainted peanut butter to schools across the country as part of the free-lunch program (moral: there is a free lunch, but it will kill you).

This interesting tidbit was buried deep in the story:

Despite ongoing reports of illnesses linked to the company, the Agriculture department only Thursday suspended Peanut Corp. from participating in government contract programs, for at least a year. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack also removed Stewart Parnell, president of the company, from USDA's Peanut Standards Board.

...

The Food and Drug Administration learned only weeks ago that the Peanut Corp. of America had received a series of private tests dating back to 2007 showing salmonella in their products from the Georgia plant, but later shipped the items after obtaining negative test results.