Stink Bug Invasion

Just when we thought that the end of the world was coming thanks to staph infections and bedbugs, now it turns out that stink bugs are in the running for "Pest of the Apocalypse." Well, at least if you happen to be an apple.

While the bugs don't bite or carry diseases, they do emit a foul odor if squashed. There may even be a connection between this feature and their name, but I'm still working this out.

The bugs do like to nosh on peaches, apples, soybeans, corn, and ornamental shrubs and trees. Farmers are not amused.

According to the Washington Post, stink bugs appear to be one of the four insects of the Apocalypse, or a Cuban revolutionary conspiracy, or something:

"This is the vanguard," said Mike Raupp, a University of Maryland entomologist and extension specialist. "I think this is going to be biblical this year," he said. "You're going to hear a collective wail in the Washington area, up through Frederick and Allegany counties, like you've never heard before. The [bug] populations are just through the ceiling."

As with bedbugs, the Post reports (without any actual sources) that distraught homeowners are resorting to "burning them with propane torches."

The bugs seem to have arrived as illegal immigrants from Asia over a decade ago, and have since spread to 29 states.

Authorities recommend that homeowners stop bathing so that they won't notice the smell from the bugs if they accidentally step on any as they flee from their burning homes.

Some media reports have noted that the bugs are a delicacy when eaten in tacos in parts of Mexico. Stink Bug Tacos -- I think I have the name of my next band.

Superbugs will kill you part three: It came from India

As reported back in 2008 by Worried Dad, the MRSA staph infection has been called a superbug that appears to be resistant to all known antibiotics, except fire.

Then just a few weeks ago, this blog reported on the spread of a new superbug, c. diff, another nasty bug that will be stopped by nothing in its quest to kill you dead.

If anyone is still alive enough to read this, it appears that there is a new contender for "the microorganism that will destroy humanity" comes to us from India -- or does it??

In a challenge to the "there is no bad publicity" maxim, the new superbug has been given the name "New Delhi metallo-beta-lactamase," or NDM-1. New Delhians are not amused, and point out that the bug is really a close match to another superbug that's been making the rounds of US hospitals and back alleys for quite some time.

However, a spate of infected patients that appear to have originated in India have been spreading the stuff around the globe. It seems that globe-trotting healthcare bargain hunters have been going to India for cheap operations, getting some NDM-1 as a free souvenir, and then spreading Armageddon to the four corners of the Earth.

Basically, the NDM-1 stuff is resistant to all known antibiotics. People in White Coats blame other people in White Coats for over-prescribing antibiotics when we didn't need them, and now we need them, but they don't work anymore and we're all going to die. Also, you should wash your hands a lot and bathe nightly in Purell.

WHO Declares End Of Swine Flu!

The World Health Organization (WHO) has declared an official end to the swine flu apocalypse of 2009. Due to pressure from the pork industry, the WHO announced that it will no longer refer to the global pandemic as "Swine Flu" but instead will refer to it only as H1N1 influenza A.

H1N1 -- The other virulent infectious disease!

Bad Piggies -- Track the Swine Flu In Real Time

Turns out that all the hype about bird flu and mad cows a few years back was just a huge plot to get us to ignore the danger of pigs. The swines have given us their flu, also known as H1N1. What started in Mexico has now spread to the US and Spain.

In another bad sign, Europe's health commissioner has urged that people avoid all non-essential travel to the US and Mexico. For those of us already here, the advice generally seems to be that the best way to stay healthy is to stop breathing.

Someone figured out how to track the whole thing on Google maps so you can watch the end of the world unfold with helpful color coded stickies. Click here for all the fun (zoom back to see the whole world).

Costco Helps You Prepare for the Worst

The friendly folks at Costco have come up with a solution to every worried parent's dilemma: what to eat during the coming Apocalypse?

The new Emergency Food Kit:

Basic preparation will impact the probability of your family’s survival in an emergency. Delicious and Easy to Prepare. Each bucket contains 275 servings of Pre-mixed and Pre-seasoned 100 % Vegetarian and Vitamin Fortified food for you and your family. With a 20 year long shelf life, this kit is perfect for the preparation of natural disasters such as hurricane, tornado, earthquakes or even a camping/hunting trip.

I guess some people are really bad at camping.

Gift packaging is available, but delivery takes 7-10 days, so please plan ahead at least a little bit...