Celery will kill you

Worried Dad's daughter, Cinderella, has long contended that she is allergic to vegetables. Turns out she might be right.

Back in March, the Environmental Working Group declared that conventionally grown (i.e. NOT organic) celery topped their supermarket "dirty dozen." This means that with every bite of those crunchy green stalks, you are walking a chemical-laden path to a cancerous pesticide induced death.

Now, killer celery has claimed multiple victims in Texas: the count so far is 4 dead and two more sick. But the numbers are sure to rise. The culprit this time is listeriosis, a nasty little bacterium.

Okay kid, you can have a side of chocolate tonight.

Kids' Cereal Not Good For Kids

According to recent investigative reports, the most popular breakfast cereals (as opposed to the dinner ones, you know) are the dietary equivalent of either a bag of potato chips or a doughnut.

A recent study by Consumer Reports of the 27 brands of cereal most heavily marketed to kids showed that 11 had as much sugar in a regular serving as a glazed doughnut. Interestingly, both Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles scored better than Post's Golden Crisps (not that the Pebbles are doing your kids any favors).

Major cereal companies have been responding to parental concern by giving cereals new names, thus the Sugar Smacks and Super Sugar Crisps of our wayward youth are now Honey Smacks and Golden Crisps (although the sugar content is the same).

The only ones that Consumer Reports investigators will let you serve your kid without a disapproving glare are Cheerios, Honey Nut Cheerios, Life, and Kix (as long as you serve them with a glass of milk, a piece of fruit, some broccoli, and a multivitamin).

Meanwhile in England, consumer groups are charging that when the big cereal companies create reduced sugar varieties, they end up boosting the salt content to the point that they equal that of potato chips (or "crisps").

So that's it. From now on we're skipping the middle man and are just taking Cinderella to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast.

Future Red Sox Secret Weapon

Ok, things didn't turn out like we hoped. But, hey, there's always next year!

Absolute Power and the Four Year Old Mind

Cinderella is channeling the wicked stepmother lately. She was Line Leader at her pre-k class the other day. For the uninitiated, this means that she got to be at the head of the line for the day.

Me: So how was it being line leader today?

Cinderella: It was great! All the other kids had to be my servants and do everything I said!

Don't worry about the angels

I had a little chat with my daughter Cinderella today:

Cinderella: Did the Red Sox win?

Worried Dad: Yes, they beat the Angels!

Cinderella: Won't God be angry?

Worried Dad: No, God is very happy about this. And besides, the Red Sox don't need wings to fly.